Day 22

I don't understand my tribe, how they can be so bad at the game. Well, I guess they aren't that bad, and I could be totally wrong and they could be on to me, but right now I'm like a wolf in sheep's clothing. I pretend to be following their command, I vote how they want me to even though I can usually steer them to vote my way.

You just have to act stupid and like you don't care. At the end of every suggestion I give them I just say "or whatever" and they think I'm stupid. I'm not though. I'm going to wipe the floor with these people and they won't see it coming.

But then again, if I'm wrong and I get blindsided, then I will look like a huge idiot. So I guess... Whatever.


I know this is my second confessional of the day, but something... Interesting has happened.

Apparently Charlie is a worse player than I thought, apparently targeting me now. Thing is, he isn't playing to win. He is playing for Wes to win. I'm not very threatened because I know I have Des and Dallas in my pocket, and they still think I'm blissfully unaware of his "plan". I'll just kill them before they kill me. I've got this game under my control.


The Reward Challenge today was hell for me. Without any notice of the impending live event, I was unable to participate. And that irks me to no end. I never thought I'd say it, but I have DOMINATED the challenges this season. And to, effectively, be forced out of the competition - and the first individual challenge, at that! - simply because we weren't told when the challenge would start... I hate it.

But I'm not one to go down easy. I never put my tail between my legs and call it quits. By the time I became aware of the challenge, I knew that I had a next to zero chance of winning anything worthwhile. I was almost guaranteed the loser's prize of an automatic vote against me at my next Tribal. That could be devastating for me. It could give Wesley and Charlie the opportunity to vote my butt out with a 3-3 tie if Khaptad loses the next Immunity. And if I don't see Tribal until the merge, then I become an easy target for Chitwan or any flippers. At this stage in the game, that's not an option I want to leave open for anyone who might be working against me.

And so I made a strategic decision to not participate at all. The rules stated that not finishing the crossword would make a contestant ineligible for any prize. Thinking about that phrase, I came to realise that I could dodge a bullet by refusing to finish the crossword. If I don't hand it in, then I'm not going to win an idol or a clue or an extra vote or anything, but that was already a given. But I'm also going to avoid receiving the punishment prize of that automatic vote. The gamble on this loophole paid off and I got out of this scot-free. I expected to outwit the other contestants here, but I didn't think I'd get a chance to outwit the Game itself.


Day 23

I feel very confident in my alliance of Dallas and Des. They are my two favorite people in the game.

I realized since yesterday that it wouldn't be a horrible thing is Wes or Charlie won, just slightly annoying since one of them doesn't even want to win. Charlie just wants Wes to win because he follows him around like a puppy. My tribe is going to rule the merge, and if I manage to sneak my way into the final two or three, whatever it is, I think I have a good chance of winning. The downside to my tribe is we are set up like a pride of lions. The female lions, the silent nondescript ones are the ones doing the hunting. But it's the men who get all the credit as the best animal and the female is seen as useless. I don't want that to happen to me, lose because of perception. Then again, I don't even know if I will make it to the finals. I could very possibly be voted out soon.


Day 24

We're getting down TO IT. Final 9. Big personalities. Let's go, I'm ready! For me, I believe I'm in a pretty good position. Really, nobody thinks I'm a threat, and Richie's loyal to me, Ash is loyal to me, and Trace is loyal to me. Everyone in my tribe right now is loyal to me, they just haven't figured it out yet, thank god. Actually, one of my strategies actually happened unintentially. Going into the game i wanted to get into an alliance of five with someone who was not as strong as me (Nathan), someone who's a threat and stronger than me (RP), and two people close to me (Trace and Ash.) So this is my, American, unintentional alliance that's going on right now. My strategy's working. But I'm not comfortable. Charlie from Khatpad, THREATENED me XD He said, "You just signed your death warrant." And I was like "BITCH PLEASE". I'm not threatened by the guy, but he's certainly making me uncomforable. He's gonna be very eager to get me out this game, but you know what? I'm ready. WE'RE GETTING DOWN TO IT. It's time to have some rivals, it's time for this game to get even MORE complicated...... XD.... i'm so excited haha


This game is so stressful, even though it is an ORG.

Trace is coming to me with plans to jump ship, and I don't want to. Even though I really want Wes and Charlie out because I don't think they are deserving as winners, I don't want to jump to Chitwan because I can't get to the end that way. But today, while I was talking to Trace I had to act like a deer in the headlights that had no idea what was going on. Thing is, I felt bad lying to him, acting like I was something I'm not. I don't know how I am ever going to win because the jury will hate me by the end of this. But the only way I will win is to screw people over. I have no idea what to do... Sometimes, I wish I could just get voted out so I don't have to keep lying. Because this is seriously mentally exhausting.


I am on cloud nine right now. These last couple days have been stressful as I haven't been able to pull my weight in the challenges as much as I would've liked. But with winning this last challenge, and allowing Khaptad to go into the merge 5-3... It's like all my favourite dreams rolled into one. For all intents and purposes, this should mean that I'm guaranteed to go straight to the Final Five.

But I'm not putting pride before a fall. I've seen that happen too many times before on this show. There are a lot of moving parts on my tribe, and Chitwan is such a fustercluck that I can't pinpoint what's going on there. Wes has an idol and I get the impression that he's not going to Khaptad if he sees a better option for himself. Charlie... Charlie is a trainwreck. He's a loose cannon and speaks before he thinks, and I'm concerned he might upset the apple cart.

Meanwhile, RP is being his usual jerkfaced a-hole over at Chitwan, but I'm still in a quote-unquote alliance with him, so it's possible I can manipulate that to my advantage if he makes it through this last Chitwan Tribal. Meanwhile, Trace is apparently convinced that Charlie is trying to get Charley out and that she's at the bottom of Khaptad, which is nonsense. He evidently trusts her a lot, and thinks she'll flip to Chitwan, but that's not going to happen. Charley is so strapped into the driver's seat that she'll drive this thing to the end, where she'll either skid across the line or go careening off a cliff. Hopefully, the latter, because if I'm sitting next to someone at the Final Two or Three who has pissed off everyone on the Jury, I've got a much better shot - particularly since I'm apparently perceived as some kind of duncey blind follower.

So with the Merge coming at the next sunrise, I'm not sure what to expect. It should be a straight-forward week or so as we pick off the last stragglers of Chitwan, but it could just as well go Bedlam.